Andy would have been 30 today...

 There are good things and bad things about March 27th. It's a day where I have the chance to think about just Andy for the day. With loosing three family members all at once, sometimes the grief is to catastrophic and heavy to even dive into, so you have a sad moment, and then push it out of your mind so you can carry on with the rest of your day. Birthdays are different, where I really tend to sit and think of just one of the guys at a time.  Today I cry a lot, and smile a little as I remember Andy. The first things to pop into my head are giving him a hug and wrapping my arms around his slender body, laughing at his silly sense of humor "Why are you an Indian?" Or just remembering him for always being kind and compassionate- even if it was to a lame boyfriend of mine. I'm also remembering today his love for his cousins, especially Robert. His friendship with the Wulf boys, and of course his college roommates.  I have never lost a best friend, and I would imagine it's something close to losing a brother.

 I think about Sha, and how Andy brought her into our lives. I feel so happy with the relationship I have built with her. Just today we were talking about how cute Andy was. I love this picture... how do you not fall in love with that face? Sha is even coming to see me in San Diego next week for a girls weekend together. I can't wait.

But what really came to mind today was how Andy didn't care about what people thought of him. He knew who he was, and he was proud of where he came from. A cowboy, from Idaho, wranglers and all. Take it or leave it. He couldn't really understand what the big deal was about trying to impress other people- whether it was the car you drove, the kind of boots you were wearing, or the color of your jeans. In high school he would ask me what was on my eyes (eyeshadow). Then he would ask me why I had to wear it... and then he would proceed to try wipe it off. Makes me laugh now. He had a way of keeping me so grounded.  I think we can all learn a valuable lesson from Andy. Next time you catch yourself worrying about what someone else will think of you take a chapter out of Andy's book and remember it's what's on the inside that really counts.

I miss you big brother.